Your Life Might Not be Better Without Mental Illness

Do any of these statements sound familiar? “My life would be so much better if I didn’t have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).” Or, “I would be happy if I had a different brain.” Or even, “It’s so unfair that I was born with this mental illness.”

I don’t know about you, but those statements sound INCREDIBLY familiar to me – and in some conversations I’ve had with others, it’s clear they are familiar to many. What does this reveal? There’s a component of mental illness that isn’t talked about nearly enough: grief. 

When you struggle with your mental health, it’s not abnormal to get caught in “what if” scenarios and, ultimately, grieve the life you believe you could have had, or should have had, without mental illness.

Resenting your mental health difficulties

The first step to facing these difficult feelings is, of course, to stop resisting them. Validate yourself. Mental illness does change your life.

The second step is to work towards separating yourself from your mental illness – to recognize that although your mental health does impact your life, it is not the impact of your life. 

And then, third, consider this: people with your specific mental health ailment are not the only people on earth who struggle with these types of feelings. What about people with cancer, or autism, or addiction or diabetes?

While struggling with your mental (or physical) health is never ideal and is always difficult, there is always a flip side of the coin; a perspective where you can find something good. 

For instance, although OCD is incredibly debilitating, it also makes me incredibly attentive to detail, aware of other’s feelings and empathetic. And while I don’t suffer from the difficulties I mentioned above so I can’t speak to the specifics of the flip sides of those particular coins, it’s important to remember that we are all united by struggle. 

The grass isn’t always greener. 

Finding joy with mental illness

The bottom line is getting to a place where you are able to accept the reality of your circumstances. To acknowledge your need to mourn while simultaneously learning to love and accept everything it means to be you.

To stop fooling yourself that things could have – or should have – been any different.

Because at the end of the day, longing for things that cannot happen only creates suffering. So mourn, and grieve and feel, and then hold your head high and be proud of everything it means to be you -- even if parts of that bring you pain.