Overcoming Mental Health Shame

Have you ever noticed that so many mental health conditions are united by the common thread of shame? 

For example, take Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and addiction. Those with OCD often feel shame when they get sucked into intrusive thoughts, fail to resist doing their compulsions or experience debilitating anxiety. On the other hand, sufferers of addiction may feel shame when they relapse or perceive that they have failed people they love.

And that’s just scratching the surface – the fact is, shame is a nearly universal experience across various mental health challenges. But what can we do about it?

Moving from shame to unconditional acceptance

Dealing with mental health challenges is difficult enough before you add in feeling shame about struggling with such conditions. But nonetheless, shame is powerful – it can lead to isolation and unhealthy self-esteem and so much more. 

A message I heard at a church meeting a few weeks ago really changed my perspective on shame and how to move away from falling into its trap. A member of the congregation described how their young daughter had been in a terrible accident and they were unsure if she would make a full recovery.

As this person described the situation, they said that while they were praying for their daughter to recover, all they were thinking was this: “We would take our daughter back in any condition, as long as we got her back. We just wanted her back.”

Thank heavens, they did get their daughter back. She did make a full recovery. But what does that statement say about love? What does that say about the type of unconditional acceptance that so many of us forget exists when we are struggling with our mental health?

Finding self-compassion in mental health conditions

Let me ask you something: if we have so much evidence, even outside of this story, that parents love their children that much, that that kind of love exists, can’t we choose to believe that that love exists for us, or at least within us?

If you have Scrupulosity OCD, can’t you come to believe that God is so much more compassionate than we might think He is?

If you’re an addict, can’t you choose to believe that your family is so much more compassionate than you think they are?

If you struggle with mental health difficulties, can’t you work towards being more compassionate to yourself than you have been?

Whether you struggle with OCD or addiction or anything else, know this: you are inherently worthy of love and acceptance, regardless of your past or present struggles. 

You are wanted – you are worthy – in any condition. No matter what shame has to say about it.