Managing Intrusive Thoughts

Imagine going about your everyday life – working, cooking, cleaning, taking care of your family, etc. – while dealing with constant, unrelenting intrusive thoughts. 

But we’re not talking about your average, run-of-the-mill intrusive thoughts that the greater majority of people experience. We’re talking about the ones that create an irresistible urge to do something, but won’t leave you alone even after you complete the compulsion. We’re talking about the never-ending cycle of anxiety and intrusive thoughts and compulsions that those with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) deal with on a daily basis. 

So, how do you move forward when intrusive thoughts have worn you down and left you feeling completely and utterly exhausted? How do you manage your intrusive thoughts when you feel like you don’t have the energy to do so?

Dealing with the exhaustion of intrusive thoughts

Throughout my journey with OCD, here are three tips I’ve found useful in dealing with the exhaustion that comes from dealing with everyday, relentless intrusive thoughts:

1. Remember that showing up looks different every day

I used to think that in order to be successful, I needed to achieve a certain baseline of productivity each day. For example, no matter how I was feeling, I thought that I had to get at least three tasks done for work, or spend no more than one hour on my phone, etc.

It didn’t matter if I felt unwell – there was no nuance or wiggle room. 

In recovery, I’m learning that showing up looks different every day. Some days, it’s an accomplishment to even brush my teeth. Others, I’m feeling motivated and creative and encouraged and so completing a number of tasks feels natural and even effortless.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying self-discipline isn’t important – but in most cases, people with OCD tend to be harder on themselves than they need to be. So maybe it’s time to accept that yes, things can be more difficult for you than they are for others, and that sometimes that means some days your best means not getting much “done” at all. And that’s okay!

Some days your OCD intrusive thoughts will have you so exhausted that showing up will look like doing the bare minimum (or less) - and that's okay!

2. Don't isolate

OCD thrives in isolation. It makes you feel like you are special in a bad way – like you should live by rules that only apply to you, like you are a burden if you open up to other people. It wants to get you completely alone so that it can control you more completely. It’s abusive.

Ensuring you have at least one trusted person that you can go to, even just to say, “OCD is beating me down today and I shouldn’t be alone. Will you be with me?” will go much farther than you think it will. 

You don’t have to share all the gory details of your intrusive thoughts if you don’t want to– you just have to get yourself into a place where you’re more likely to be present. And often, that means trying your best to make connections.

3. Remember that thoughts don't inherently have meaning

You don’t have to have OCD to know what it’s like for a thought to feel like it is of colossal importance. In fact, I remember one warm spring afternoon where my intrusive thoughts were making me feel especially distressed. 

I decided to go to the gym for a workout to see if the endorphins would help clear my head. However, by the time I was on my way home, I felt the same – if not worse. It was then that I remembered something my therapist had recently said: remember what thoughts actually are.

The truth is that your thoughts don’t actually have to mean anything. In fact, they don’t mean anything at all unless you decide they do! You are in control. You can decide which of your thoughts mean something. Maybe they don’t mean anything at all. 

What does that mean for you? If your OCD is telling you you are worthless or a burden or responsible for some terrible thing happening, you can decide that maybe that was just a random thought – no matter how real it feels.

OCD, intrusive thoughts and exhaustion

I intimately understand the debilitating exhaustion that comes from the everyday relentlessness of OCD intrusive thoughts. As you express self-compassion by allowing yourself to rest, celebrating your wins, making an effort not to isolate and remembering that you decide which thoughts have meaning, the fog of exhaustion can lift, even if just a little.

For more information, check out this blog post.